Be Mine
by tmntyyh
Summary: Cloud thought he was sharing a drink with Reno during a lonely Valentine's Day. Little did he know, he had begun a game of cat and mouse that slowly wound up to him missing pairs of underwear...and dating Reno. Warnings inside.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Be Mine

Summary: Cloud thought he was sharing a drink with Reno during a lonely Valentine's Day. Little did he know, he had begun a game of cat and mouse that slowly wound up to him missing pairs of his underwear...and dating Reno.

Warnings: Smut, swearing, alcohol, smoking, ...Reno.

Note: This one's a teaser; the game begins in the next one.

Disclaimer: I own little.

* * *

Cloud frowned as he stared down into the pink abyss of his drink, red and pink hearts lined the bar as a few red hearts floated to the top of his beverage. "Woah, what the fuck is that, yo?" A recognizable voice called out as a thin hand clapped the blonde on the back. "Yo, Big Tits, get me one of these frilly things!" Ducking at the knife that was thrown at his head, the Turk grinned lazily. "Aww, that time of month already?" Ducking again, the Turk chuckled as he sat down in the barstool next to the blonde. "What's with the long face, yo?"

"Nothing. This is just my face," Cloud replied with a shrug before taking a sip of the fruity drink, wincing at the taste of sugar and alcohol.

"You ain't normally so sad, yo. Is it because of the day?"

"...Monday?"

"Nah, Valentine's Day! Man, least we know you don't dye yer hair blonde, huh?"

Raising an eyebrow, the swordsman looked skeptically at the redhead. "...What do you want?"

"What? Can't I have a drink with you without getting grilled? Or cut in half?"

"...I never cut you in half."

"You tried!" Shrugging, the blonde took another sip of his drink, ignoring Tifa's sickly sweet smile as he handed Reno his drink, setting a new one next to the blonde. "So... You gonna hit that?"

"...What?"

"You know! Are you and Big Tits doing the horizontal dance?"

"...Must you call her that?"

"What? Like it ain't true, yo? So, what are you doing tonight?" Shrugging once more, the blonde held up his drink before taking another sip. "Well, at least you've got me to drink with you! Hey, don't give me that look, yo. You can't sit in a bar, unprotected, drinking yourself to death!"

"I won't drink that much."

"So I won't have to drag your drunk, heavy ass back to my place? Damn."

"...My ass is heavy?"

Smirking sexually at the blonde, Reno licked his lips, "Had to drag you from Aeris's church all the way to here before. Rude did the cheap thing and carried Big Tits. Don't worry, I'm sure her tits weigh more than your ass."

"...Thank you?"

"Welcome, yo!" the redhead said as he clinked their drinks together. "To being young and horny!" He laughed when Cloud began to choke on his drink. "What? It's true, yo!" Leaning over, the Turk slipped a folded up slip of paper into the pocket of the blonde's pants before walking over to Rude, who was shamelessly flirting with Tifa. "Come on, Big Guy, Tseng wants us to meet him in half-an-hour." Winking at the blonde, the lanky redhead left with Rude.

Blinking at the abruptness of their departure, Cloud reached into his pocket and pulled out a slipt of paper.

'Think of me when you jerk off tonight, yo.'

Blushing darkly, the blonde crumpled up the paper before tossing it into the trash and downing the remainders of the drinks. Leaving enough gil on the table to cover all of them, he walked upstairs before checking in on Marlene and Dezel, smiling softly at the children before walking over to his own room.

Lying in the darkness, he kicked off his boots before curling up under the blankets, glowing blue eyes staring blankly at the white wall as he listened to the rest of Avalanche talking and laughing downstairs.

Review if you want more. Deletion policy applies here.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Be Mine

Summary: Cloud thought he was sharing a drink with Reno during a lonely Valentine's Day. Little did he know, he had begun a game of cat and mouse that slowly wound up to him missing pairs of his underwear...and dating Reno.

Warnings: Smut, swearing, alcohol, smoking, ...Reno.

Disclaimer: I own little.

* * *

After lying still for an hour, Cloud gave up on sleeping and stared at the ceiling, eyes slowly drifting shut during the night as his tired body fell asleep. Shifting, the blonde rolled onto his side, snuggling against the large, fluffy object beside him. Half asleep, the blonde opened his eyes, jerking at the sight of a large creature lying beside him and falling out of his bed. Bleary blue eyes peeked up from the other side of the bed at the creature, blinking slowly as he took in the sight of a large, stuffed chocobo holding a plush, red heart. Sitting down on his bed, the blonde examined plush animal before picking up a scrap of paper from the floor.

'It's got your eyes, yo.'

Looking at the blue-eyed, golden chocobo, the blonde wearily examined his entire room, blinking as everything seem to belie the fact that the Turk had been in his room. ...While he was sleeping. Unprotected. Making sure that everything was locked and firmly closed, the swordsman went into his bathroom, shower quickly before dressing in a pair of his leathers and heading downstairs, smiling slightly at the sight of Denzel and Marlene eating breakfast.

"Morning, Cloud!" the children said happily, smiling widely at him.

"Good morning," he said as he walked over and poured himself a mug of coffee, ignore the kiss that Tifa planted on his cheek.

"Sleep well?" the brunette woman asked as she smiled sweetly at him. The blonde nodded as he walked over and took a seat next to Denzel, ruffling the boy's hair as he took a sip of the black liquid. "So, any deliveries today?"

"Yeah; Junon and Nibelheim are today," Cloud said as he yawned. "I might not make it back tonight."

"Oh," Tifa said, looking a bit disheartened. "I'll pack you a big lunch and dinner to take with you, then!"

"Okay," he said with a shrug, drinking more of his hot coffee as Denzel and Marlene ate. Blue eyes looked over as the door swung open.

"We're closed!" Tifa snapped, glaring when Reno came sauntering in. "Get out or I'll throw you out!"

"In yer nightie an' all, Big Tits?" the redhead said with a grin. "I ain't here for you, anyway. Hey, Chocobo-Head. Did ya have a good night?"

"...Kids, take your food upstairs, please," Cloud said, patting each one of the children on their heads as they nodded and ran upstairs with their plates of breakfast.

"You, too, Big Tits," Reno said with a grin. "Run on, now. The big boys need ta have a chat." Grinning when the busty woman flipped him off before heading upstairs, the lanky Turk sat down across from Cloud in the booth. "Like the plushie, yo?"

"...How did you get into my room?" Cloud asked, ignoring the question.

Reno grinned as he leaned back, setting his boots onto Cloud's lap, "Think the real question is: why do ya look so cute when yer sleepin', yo?"

"Stay out of my room."

"Make me!"

"...I can easily snap you like a pretzel."

"Maybe," the Turk said as he smirked seductively, reaching over the table to run his fingers through the blonde's thick hair. "But you and I both know you don't want to do that, yo. So...where are you going today?"

"Out," Cloud said as he slapped Reno's hands away from his hair.

"Duh, where?"

"...Why?"

"It's easier to follow ya if you let me know where you'll generally be," the Turk said as he smirked.

"...Kalm."

Snorting, the Turk winked at Cloud. "Fine, don't tell me. Just means I got to ignore Tseng for a while."

"...Huh?"

"See you on the road, Chocobo-Head. Hey, how did you like the bird, anyway?"

"Bird?"

"God, you're one thick cookie, yo," Reno said as he stood up, leaning over and slipping his hand into the blonde's pocket as he murmured in his ear. "Hopin' more than that is thick on ya, yo."

Cloud could not help but blush darkly at the comment as he pushed the snickering Turk away from him, watching as the redhead walked out of the Seventh Heaven. Pulling out the note, his blush grew even darker.

'You have the cutest smile, yo.'

"Are you okay, Cloud?" Tifa asked, suddenly by his side. The blonde nodded as he jerked, cramming the small note back into his pocket.

"Yeah...just fine."

"You're bright red. ...Maybe you should stay home today?"

"...Maybe."

Drinking down the last of his coffee, the blonde warrior walked up to his room before picking out a set of clothes, making sure everything was locked before opening the door to his bathroom and freezing. A note was taped to the mirror.

'Bet you look good naked.'

Snarling in embarrassment, the blonde tore down the note, deciding to make sure that his room was free from the perverted Turk before even daring to take a shower.

Review if you want more. Short, I know. Sorry.

Thank you for reviewing:

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**(no name)**: Thank you!

**Clueless Uke**: Uhh, no idea what Creeper Day is, but I'll take your word for it! Wait no more! ...Well, you'll have to wait for the next chapter...

**Death Escapist**: In due time, my dear!


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Be Mine

Summary: Cloud thought he was sharing a drink with Reno during a lonely Valentine's Day. Little did he know, he had begun a game of cat and mouse that slowly wound up to him missing pairs of his underwear...and dating Reno.

Warnings: Smut, swearing, alcohol, smoking, ...Reno.

Disclaimer: I own little.

* * *

Wrapping a towel around his waist, the blonde stepped out of the steamy bathroom and slowly walked towards his bureau, picking out a set of leather clothing for the day. Drying off completely before dressing, the blonde then checked to make sure that he had everything he needed to go on with his day. His phone was fully charged and all of his messages were listened to. Running his fingers through his damp hair, he tried to tame the unruly, blonde locks, just to sigh softly in defeat. Heading out of his room, the blonde walked down the hallway before stopping into a small room and picking out two of the packages, carrying them down the stairs and out of the bar, walking around to where Fenrir was parked.

Setting the large boxes onto the ground, the blonde set to attaching them to the motorcycle, making sure that they would not fall off during the drive before heading back into the bar. Saying a brief goodbye to everyone, the swordsman checked to make sure he had his Buster Sword before settling down onto Fenrir and putting on his sunglasses. Reaching into his right pockets, the blonde paused.

Wait, where were his keys?

Feeling the panic rising in the pit of his stomach, the blonde tried to calm down as he searched all of his pockets. Muttering soft curses to himself, why did he have to buy pants with so many pockets in the first place, Cloud quickly got off of the motorcycle before checking around it; making sure that he did not drop them when he arrived home last night. With no sight of the keys in his path, the blonde hurried inside, nearly bumping into Tifa and startling her.

"Geez, Cloud!"She said as she clapped her hands over her chest. "You nearly scared me to death!"

"Sorry," he muttered. "Have you seem my keys anywhere?"

"No, did you lose them?"

"Possibly..." he said before heading upstairs, missing the soft smile that she gave him. Heading into his room, the blonde began to look through his pants from the following evening. When that prove fruitless, he checked he bed and bathroom. Still finding nothing, the frustrated blonde opened the drawers to his bureau. Pausing, the man frowned. He could have sworn that he had more boxers that what was left. Ignoring the thought that Reno decided to pilfer his undergarments, the blonde searched through all of the drawers. Standing there, still without any keys, Cloud took several deep breaths. Hearing an motor start in the near distance, the blonde hairs on the naps of his neck rose up.

"...Son of a bitch..." he cursed softly before running down the stairs and out of the bar as quickly as he could, nearly running directly into the person speeding away on Fenrir. A motorcycle helmet covered the thief's face, making it impossible for the blonde to see who was riding away on his prized possession.

Ignoring all common sense that screamed for him to call the police, the blonde grabbed Denzel's bicycle as quickly as he could before peddling after the crook that took Fenrir. Moving as fast as he could, Cloud gave the person on his motorcycle chase, not taking long to zoom in on the other person. Hearing a muffled curse, the blonde nearly collided with the thief when the other person attempted to cut him off and make a sharp turn in from on him.

Blue eyes widened slightly in surprise as he made the turn a bit easier before continuing to give the thief chase. The person obviously was not expecting him to follow him in pursuit; swerving though traffic in an attempt to lose the enraged blonde that was on his tail. Following the thief across the city, Cloud grit his teeth at the way the leather began to stick to his sweating skin, making it all the more irritating as he peddled the bicycle. Unbeknownst to Cloud, the driver on his motorcycle smirked, leading Cloud into heavy traffic and cutting through alleys.

Speeding up, the blonde frowned. He was so close; during the last stream of traffic he rode into, he lose sight of his Fenrir and the person riding away on it. Cursing himself, Cloud began his ride back home on Denzel's bike. He would have to call the cops before he could take yet another shower. Skin chaffing uncomfortably, the blonde was please to see the Seventh Heaven in the near distance. He carefully set Denzel's bike by the front entrance before heading inside, nodding at Tifa as he head upstairs before she could start to question him as to what happened. Sitting down on his bed, the blonde took slow and deep breaths.

He had been robbed. It was that simple. So, why was it so hard to come to terms with?

Pulling out his phone, Cloud dialed the police, telling them what had happened leading up to his chase. Informing the officer about the make and model of Fenrir, he gave the woman his license plate number and thanked her for her enthusiasm in getting the officers to be on the look-out for anyone driving the blonde's motorcycle. Nodding to himself, the blonde ended the call before carefully stripping off his leather outfit, placing them into the wicker hamper beside his bureau and heading back into the shower.

Taking a cold bath, the blonde sighed as he tried to relax. His legs, thighs especially, were rubbed raw; normally pale skin now pink with irritation. Gently washing himself clean, he hissed softly at the burning sensation that consumed the skin on his inner thighs.

Once he felt clean and more relaxed, the blonde carefully rose from the tub, unstopped the drain, and dried off. Pulling on a pair of soft, cotton pants and a robe, he went over to his bed and lied down. Picking up his phone, he called the two people he was going to be delivering the packages to; informing them about the loss of Fenrir and their boxes. Groaning once both calls had finally ended, he moved to make himself comfortable underneath the covers, answering quickly when his phone rang. "Cloud Strife speaking."

"Yo, you got mugged today?" a familiar voice asked. "Shit, did they fuck up yer pretty face, yo?"

"...My face isn't pretty, Reno," Cloud said as he rolled his eyes. He was really hoping for the cops to call him back, as unrealistic as the thought might have been.

"Sure is!" Reno said. "Now, tell me what happened; guns? Knives? Did they maim Big Tits?"

"What? No!"

"...Damn."

"That's a horrible thing to say!"

"Nah," Reno said as he grinned. "What's horrible is how much she must have paid to get them things, yo! Fuck, she must be breakin' her back trying to catch yer attention, yo."

"What? Tifa wouldn't get implants!"

"For the bog hero of the planet? Come on, Chocobo-Head. She'd toss off her panties and spread them legs open wide if you just asked her! Fuck the kids, she wouldn't care about 'em if she could get her pussy plowed by yer cute ass!"

"...You're mental. Tifa isn't attracted to me; we've been friends for a while and knew each other longer than we've been friends," Cloud muttered as he shook his head. "...How do you keep getting in my room?"

"...Did you know that you snore softly when you sleep?"

"...Reno..."

"Aww, come on, yo," the Turk said as he chuckled. "If I told you that, you'd be reinforcing my main entrance and that would be the end of this. ...Well, until I find a new way in."

"...You do realize you could always visit on the weekends? Marlene is fond of you."

"How about you?" the redhead asked with a smirk that Cloud could hear.

"Marlene's fond of me, too," Cloud said as he shrugged.

"...Shit, tell me "blonde" ain't genetic, yo!"

"...Blonde isn't genetic? I don't see wh-" Cloud paused as the redhead burst into fits of laughter on the other line. "...Are you done?"

"Yer a riot, Spike!" Reno said as he chuckled, panting softly. "So tell me, what does it take to get a date from you, yo?"

"...A date?"

"Yeah."

"...With me?"

"No, with Big Tits! Of course, with you! Come on, yo; a man's got needs."

"...Did you just call me a whore?"

"What? Fuck no, Blondie! Don't get me twisted...well, unless yer into kinky shit. Are you, yo? 'Cause I know some things that'll make yer toes curl when ya come!"

"Good-bye, Reno," Cloud said before hanging up. Covering his face with his hands, the blonde groaned before looking at the time. It was barely even nine in the morning and he was already contemplating going back to sleep. Dealing with a robber and Reno early in the morning were two tiring events.

Review if you want more.

Thank you for reviewing:

**Aeriths-Rain**: Indeed.

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**reloudypie**: I make no promises when it comes to my mind.

**bbeyond**: Why, thank you for making me feel like a desperate, immature writer. This was actually a little over two pages using size-eight font and single-spaced, not half of a page. The deletion policy only counts towards the first chapter; as stated in my profile. I am immature and tend to take reviews, be they adulatory or defaming, to heart; this is why I ask you to review if you want more. If not, I could not care less because if it goes six months without an update, I lose focus on my storyline and abandon the entire thing. Many of my stories have gone down this path and I have and I peace with that. The only reason I put up such a short chapter (which I apologized for) was because I am working on a drama story and I had gotten so many reviews that it only felt right to put up something rather than leaving people with nothing. Apparently, I was wrong. I apologize for not measuring up to your standards in authors; I write for fun, not for work. Feel free to skip over anything I write as I would not wish to off put you with my supposed begging. Now, I hope you have a nice day.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Be Mine

Summary: Cloud thought he was sharing a drink with Reno during a lonely Valentine's Day. Little did he know, he had begun a game of cat and mouse that slowly wound up to him missing pairs of his underwear...and dating Reno.

Warnings: Smut, swearing, alcohol, smoking, ...Reno.

Disclaimer: I own little.

* * *

Rolling onto his side, Cloud yawned as he stretched his legs out before pulling them closer to his body. The mako in his blood was helping to ease the burning sensation in his thighs as he relaxed. He would take a nap before calling Cid, the blonde decided as he closed his eyes. The pilot could help him either track the thief or rebuild Fenrir. Well, build a new motorcycle. What if Fenrir was gone for good? New thoughts. Think new thoughts. Sighing, the blonde tried to clear his mind before he slipped into unconsciousness.

Jerking when he heard a door slam, Cloud's eyes snapped open before he looked around the room and sat up, eyes widening at the giant box at the foot of his bed. The colored paper was neatly wrapped around the box, leaving sharp creases and a neatly wrapped box. The giant bow on the top sparkled with glitter as he stared at it.

"...I need to stop sleeping," he muttered to himself before slowly climbing out of his bed and walking over to the foot of the bed, looking around the package for any sign that it was meant for someone else, the blonde frowned. Pink, sparkly wrapping really was not the kind of thing he would wrap gifts in. Carefully unwrapping the box and setting it down next to the folded paper, he frowned at the amount of tape that surrounded the box. Maybe it wasn't for him? Maybe it was a bomb? Who wraps a bomb?

...Someone who doesn't want you to think it was a bomb, he reasoned before slowly walking out of the room, keeping his eyes on the package. Once out of the room, he turned around and jumped slightly at the sight of Tifa.

"Oh, you're finally awake," she said cheerfully.

"...Did you see anyone come upstairs today?" he asked, frowning softly at the way she shook her head.

"No one, why?"

...It had to be from Reno.

"No reason."

"Are you feeling all right, Cloud?"

"Fine," the blonde said before blinking when he was pulling into a tight embrace with the brunette bartender.

"You worry me sometimes, Cloud. All of us, really," she said as she pressed her body against the swordsman.

"...Sorry," he replied while gently patting her back. "...I...didn't mean to?" He felt awkward having to say it, but nothing else came to mind. Pulling back, his childhood friend - well, she was not exactly a friend during his childhood, he reasoned - smiled softly before kissing his cheek.

"Are you going to join us for dinner?"

Nodding, the blonde blinked as she smiled happily before walking away. What was that about? Shrugging slightly to himself before walking back into the room, the blonde frowned at the sight of the box. Why would Reno send him a bomb? Well, it might not be a bomb. ...There was only one way to make sure...

Silently walking over to the package, Cloud slowly began to pick at the corner of a strip of tape, slowly peeling it off before working on a new strip until he could open the top of the cardboard box. Blue eyes widened at the sight of the sparkly fabric as he slowly lifted the garment from the box.

He was going to kill Reno for this. Reno would die. He would kill the Turk for doing something this embarrassing.

Glaring darkly at the purple fabric, his left eye twitching slightly, Cloud crammed the dress back into the box, fingers brushing against the tiara as he pulled his hands out and closed the box. Walking over to his closet and pulling out a chest of materia, he looked through the bright glowing orbs of magic as his face burned bright red.

Pulling out a green orb, Cloud nodded to himself before locking the chest and rising to his feet, closing the door before picking up the box. He was going to look crazy for this, but it had to be done. He should have done it the first time. Well, that is not true, he should have not even done it the first time. Now, that is not right, he had to save Tifa...

Grumbling to himself, the blonde carried the box and materia down the stairs, ignoring Tifa's confused look. "I'll be right back," he replied softly as he took the box out to the back of the bar. Setting it down on the ground, he set the "gift" and all of its contents on fire. Watching as the blaze burned, he slipped the orb into the pocket of his robe before wrapping his arms around his chest. Leaning back against the wall, he listened for when the bottle of "sexy cologne" exploded. Oh, how he hated the smell of that cologne. Not more than the actual dress itself, though. Just more than the...well, he hated all of it: the underwear, heels, tiara; it all sucked. Once the fire died out, leaving only burning embers and ash in its wake, Cloud turned around before walking back inside.

"Is everything all right?" Tifa asked as she watched the blonde return to the bar. "...What happened to the box?"

"...It died," Cloud muttered as he shrugged. "...It had to die."

"...The box had to die? Are you sure you're feeling all right, Cloud?"

"Fine," he replied before sitting at the bar. "...It's been a long day."

"Oh, did you see what Denzel brought home?" she said before rummaging around behind the bar before handing over a slip of paper.

"...A detention notice?"

"The third one this week!"

"...It's Tuesday..."

"Exactly!"

"...It says he hit another kid for calling him names. Good for him."

"Cloud!"

"...Bad for him?"

"Cloud, he's not supposed to be hitting people!"

"...We hit people..."

"We do not!"

Raising his eyebrows, the blonde looked at Tifa incredulously, "You got into a bitch-slap fight with Scarlet..."

"She started it! And that was a long time- That's not the point! Would you want Marlene to fight people?"

"...If she was standing up for herself or others, yeah."

"I told you he would be fine with it!" a voice called out from upstairs.

"Get back in your room, Denzel!" Tifa called back. "Cloud, we can't be fighters when raising a family."

"...We're raising a family?"

"Of course we are!"

"Who's raising a family?" a voice drawled out. Looking over, Cloud glared at the lanky redhead who sat down next to him.

"Cloud and I are! And we're closed!" Tifa snapped as she crossed her arms across her chest, pushing her large bosom up higher.

Whistling, the Turk grinned before winking at Cloud. "So, when did you knock up Big Tits?"

"Reno-"

"Get out!" Tifa snapped before hitting him over the head.

"...I thought we didn't hit people?" Cloud asked, slightly amused as he watched Tifa grab Reno by his collar before tossing his flailing body out of the Seventh Heaven before locking the door.

"Not cool, yo!" Reno called out as Cloud watched the upset bartender walked back over to him.

"You need to have a talk with Denzel!" she said before poking him in the chest.

"...A talk or the talk?"

"A talk!"

"...Okay."

Sitting there, Cloud blinked as Tifa continued to stare expectantly at him. This was starting to get really awkward really fast.

"Well?"

"...Well, what?"

"Aren't you going?"

"...Now?"

"Yes!"

"...Okay," Cloud said with a shrug before he got up and walked over to the stairs. Something was really wrong with Tifa, he decided as he gently knocked on the door. Pausing at the lack of a response, he decided to speak. "...Can I come in?"

"Cloud?" Denzel called back.

"Yeah."

"Hold on!" The blonde listened as he heard the bed-springs squeak, things moving around before the lock clicked. As the door swung open, he came face-to-face with the young boy who was going to be reaching puberty in a matter of years. God, how time flew by. "Are you going to yell at me? I promise I won't hit him again!"

"Nah," Cloud said as he followed Denzel into the boy's bedroom, sitting down on the bed beside the child. "Tifa sent me."

"Oh."

"Yeah..." Unsure of what to do, the blonde reached over before gently ruffling Cloud's hair. "Don't tell Tifa...but, I'm proud of you."

"Really?" Denzel asked as he looked over at his hero, smiling widely.

"Yeah," the hero of the planet said as he smiled slightly. "I was the type of kid who just took it."

"Kinky, yo!" a voice called out from the window, making the blonde groan.

"Go away, Reno."

"Come on, yo. Didn't you like my gift?"

"Gift?" Denzel asked as he blinked.

"Ignore him." Cloud muttered as his face turned light pink.

Review if you want more. I really wasn't going to update this, but now I feel like I must.

Thank you for reviewing:

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